You may have heard the saying, “Every cloud has a silver lining” when facing life’s difficulties.
I argue that most people have heard statements that are in the same vein: sayings that are meant to help people positively reframe bad situations, such as “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”, “Everything happens for a reason”, and “Look on the bright side.”
They can be empowering statements when used in appropriate situations. What is meant to give power to people can actually end up taking it away, especially when used within the context of the capitalistic, unequal world we occupy that is filled with systematic barriers.
I have reached a place in life where I am able to position the bad things I’ve experienced in a more positive place—even hardships caused by the barriers I have and do face as someone with multiple intersecting identities. But my truth is not a universal truth. And there are many things in life that do not and should not have a “silver lining.”
There is no “silver lining” to people being unhoused, to people going hungry because of rising food costs, to billionaires and politicians depriving people of the basic necessities for survival. The “silver lining” that can be found here is for billionaires and politicians as a means to get richer and more powerful. And that is no silver lining at all if it comes at the cost of human suffering.
Society’s use of the phrase, “Every cloud has a silver lining” can almost be a form of victim blaming—one of capitalism and systemic inequality’s most powerful weapons. Telling someone working at a job that does not pay a livable wage to find the silver lining in their situation is, in my eyes, keeping someone trapped in a toxic environment.
This statement in this context reads to me as, “Don’t try to work on emotionally processing the awful situation you’re in or ever ask for better, just look on the bright side!” It comes off as a “pick yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality, which gaslights people into viewing their misfortune as their own fault for not trying hard enough rather than as a result of broken systems.
But even telling people to find the silver lining in inevitable hardships that the majority of people will experience at some point in their lives (loss, grief, heartbreak, etc.) can be harmful. Practicing self-care in a healthy, effective way and allowing yourself time to process your emotions is the first step towards healing.
Telling people to find the good in their bad situations can sometimes cause more stress and unhappiness. Ralph Lewis, a psychiatrist working through Sunnybrook Hospital in Toronto, gave his thoughts on statements similar to “every cloud has a silver lining” that he developed through his work in psychiatry in a blog post.
“I’ve observed how this type of thinking can have powerful effects, both positive and negative, on motivation: it can be reassuring and comforting, but can also lead to disillusionment, feelings of anguish, and feelings of abandonment, leaving someone to ask ‘why me’ when cruel adversity happens.”
There may indeed be some clouds that have a silver lining, but one should not have to stay outside in the rain looking for the sun behind the clouds. That can result in people ending up stuck in a bigger storm, colder and wetter than they were before.
If people do choose to find a silver lining in the clouds of their life, society needs to provide them with two things: an umbrella and a dry place to shelter under. That umbrella, the one that helped me find the sun behind the clouds in my life, was and is a solid support network of friends, community, loved ones, and universal or at least affordable mental health care.
That dry place was and is a stable and livable housing situation and income source. People need their basic needs met before they can start addressing and working through hardships.
But in a society built on exploitation, inequality, and human suffering, “every cloud has a silver lining” is the only “solution” said society can offer when people are trapped in a rainstorm. Essentially, you must either be born with an umbrella or a dry place to go, or the people in power will leave you out in the rain, telling you to find a ray of sunshine while they block out the sun.
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